Eighteen years ago when expecting my daughter, I decided to become a stay-at-home mom. Mothering a newborn was a joyful season, but it was also exhausting and isolating. Another new mom in my community who’d experienced that same isolation after leaving the workforce started a family club that offered an…
Joyful Sorrow — Kristin Neva
Kristin Neva is an author, mother of two, and caregiver for her husband, Todd, who was diagnosed with ALS in 2010 when he was 39 years old. Knowing they would need family support, they moved to Upper Michigan and built an accessible home on property next to Kristin’s childhood home. Kristin enjoys spending time outdoors, especially on the shore of Lake Superior in the summer. Todd no longer has use of his limbs, but he stays active working on projects on his computer using adaptive technology. They try to find joy in the midst of sorrow as Todd’s health declines.
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Wake me up if Todd is in distress,” I said to his nighttime caregiver. “Of course,” she replied. It’s not something I typically say to one of my husband’s regular caregivers, but I felt on edge. I said good night and tried to get some rest, but my mind was…
Since my husband, Todd, is paralyzed from ALS, he can’t help with household chores and maintenance anymore. That puts much of it on me, but that’s also difficult for him because he loved many of those tasks. He enjoyed his career, which included work in marketing, finance, and manufacturing,…
When I took my son to the doctor for his sports physical, the nurse went through a checklist of health history questions. The exchange took an unexpected turn when she asked about my husband’s health. “Is Dad healthy?” “No. He has ALS.” The nurse glanced at her computer screen.
My 13-year-old son and I started mountain biking a few summers ago during the pandemic. He quickly became a much more aggressive biker than me, tackling jumps and getting air while I try to keep my tires on the ground. He easily outpaces me, often waiting at trail…
Ever since my husband Todd’s ALS led to his paralysis, it has been hard for him to get comfortable. This is especially true now that he wears a mask nearly 24/7 for noninvasive ventilation support. For years, I’ve jumped into action when he calls me to swat a…
About 19 years ago, my newlywed husband, Todd, bought me golf clubs. He loved the sport and thought it’d be a fun way to spend time together. I was open to the idea, even though I used to be one of those kids who dreaded gym class. I’ve never been…
As I fed my husband, Todd, his morning breakfast, a charm of yellow finches caught our attention, flitting to and from a mountain ash outside our dining room window. That old tree has brought many moments of joy that are sweet reprieve from the daily challenges of life with…
I don’t like asking for help, but when it’s for my husband, I’ll do it. Last Friday, after getting my kids out the door for school, they quickly returned to the house. “The car has a flat tire,” my daughter announced. “I’ll drive you,” I responded.
A friend who visited Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, for a serious health issue posted a video on social media of a string quartet playing in the towering glass atrium of the Gonda Building there. It brought back memories of when my husband, Todd, and I went to Mayo for…
“You should burn the beaver,” my husband, Todd, said. Over the last several years, since he has been paralyzed due to ALS, he has given me a lot of advice on various house projects, but that was not something I ever anticipated hearing. Last weekend, I was walking with…
Last week, I was in a grocery store and noticed another shopper had an occasional cough and wasn’t covering his mouth. I gave him wide berth as I gathered the items I needed. When I had found everything on my list, I made a beeline for the checkout line, and…
Before my husband, Todd, had ALS, our marriage had a normal rhythm to it. He’d go to work, and I’d care for our small children, filling their days with activities. Todd and I would reconnect each evening, sharing updates on our respective days. We took our kids on walks…
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