I reframed my life with ALS by becoming a calmer duck
I stopped asking, 'How do I fix this?' to ask, 'How do I relate to myself differently?'
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“Be like a duck: calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
That was an ongoing joke shared among my fellow hospital department managers during my working years. It’s a quote often attributed to actor Michael Caine, and it perfectly represented our mindset: putting on a brave front while worrying over every frantic detail behind the scenes. That attitude may have served me then, but since my ALS diagnosis, I’ve had to adopt a new, more balanced way of thinking.
Following my diagnosis and throughout that first year of transition, I felt a growing disconnect between my mind and body. I yearned to be a duck that was not only calm on the surface, but paddling slowly and peacefully below, as well.
I always liked the image of a little duck gliding along, so I decided to reframe the quote to fit my new reality. I began to view the visible part of the duck above the water as my body, while the part beneath the surface represented my mind. And instead of asking, “How do I fix this?” I started asking, “How do I relate to myself differently?” At the ALS clinic, I asked the clinic team, “How can I maintain where I am right now?”
The mind beneath the surface
This shift changed everything. My previous strenuous exercise routines evolved into gentle, therapeutic movement breaks. I accepted a rollator to help me balance when I walk, and I now add thickening powder to my drinks to help me swallow safely.
Rather than viewing the disease as a failure or a “brokenness,” I recognized that my body still possesses an innate intelligence. I learned to listen to what it tells me — on both the good days and the bad ones. It has its own rhythms; I cannot force my muscles or nervous system to change on demand. They take as long as they take, and there is no app or “hack” to speed up progress.
The paddling underneath the water was my mind. First, I had to process the grief and the loss of the life I thought I would always have. Then, I had to stop wondering if I had done something to cause this. Finally, I had to let go of the delusion common among the newly diagnosed that the right combination of supplements, off-beat therapies, or a specific webinar would produce a miraculous cure.
My time spent looking outward for results was actually time spent overlooking what I already had: the present moment. Practicing mindfulness and developing mental strategies has given me the confidence to know I can cope with the challenges ALS brings.
Learning to live with this condition is a work in progress. I am still a duck in the water, but I am a much calmer one now. I invite you to join me; let’s help each other learn to live well while we live with ALS.
Note: ALS News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of ALS News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues about ALS.
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