Joyful Sorrow - a Column by Kristin Neva

“It’s just one night. It’ll be fine,” my husband, Todd, said after his night caregiver contacted me late one evening to explain she was dealing with a family emergency. Todd is paralyzed from ALS and needs to be turned and have his limbs adjusted throughout the night. It was…

Months after my husband, Todd, was diagnosed with ALS, our church’s worship leader asked us to participate in a Sunday morning service with “Cardboard Testimonies.” We watched an example on YouTube in which music played while people stood in front of the congregation and shared their stories. Presenters didn’t…

I remember those days when it was hard to get out of the house with our newborns. Two weeks after our daughter was born, my husband, Todd, and I celebrated Valentine’s Day with dinner at home. Todd bought jewelry for both Sara and me. Life has patterns and seasons, and…

Music had been a source of connection and mild contention early in my relationship with my husband, Todd, but it hadn’t been much of either since Todd became paralyzed due to ALS. Our first date was to an Alison Krauss & Union Station concert. Todd was new to Milwaukee…

My husband, Todd, has ALS and is paralyzed, so not only do I cook all the meals, but I also feed him. His meals are often rushed or delayed because I’m running our daughter, Sara, to dance practice or wherever else a busy 16-year-old needs to go. There…

One evening, I took my daily walk in the Nara Nature Park in Houghton, Michigan. As I made my way around a network of wooden boardwalks, through a marsh, and alongside a riverbank and lakeshore, I listened to a symphony of birds. I saw a few couples walking,…

It’s nice to have distractions from the difficulty of life with ALS, so I was in a pretty good mood for the past week because my brothers, sister-in-law, and nieces were visiting from out of town. But one afternoon, they all headed out to a retreat center about 45…

When my 12-year-old son, Isaac, went to mow the grass last week, he noticed that one of the tires had come off the rim. My husband, Todd, purchased the zero-turn lawn mower nine years ago, a few years after his ALS diagnosis, when his arms were too weak to…

“What if Todd had aspirated while you were on your spring break trip?” someone asked me. That’s the type of question I’ve asked myself many times over the last decade since my husband, Todd, was diagnosed with ALS. What risks are we willing to take to…

“Kristin, if you can’t choose joy for yourself, then do it so Todd’s remaining days and years won’t be miserable,” I wrote in my journal a month after my husband, Todd, was diagnosed with ALS. “Do it so your kids can see how to live well, so they…