Joyful Sorrow - a Column by Kristin Neva

patients, strength, bittersweet Kristin Neva is an author, mother of two, and caregiver for her husband, Todd, who was diagnosed with ALS in 2010 when he was 39 years old. Knowing they would need family support, they moved to Upper Michigan and built an accessible home on property next to Kristin’s childhood home. Kristin enjoys spending time outdoors, especially on the shore of Lake Superior in the summer. Todd no longer has use of his limbs, but he stays active working on projects on his computer using adaptive technology. They try to find joy in the midst of sorrow as Todd’s health declines.

We’ve Adapted Before, and We’ll Adapt Again

Since my husband was diagnosed with ALS a decade ago, we’ve adapted to this difficult life in ways I never would have expected. After leaving rural Michigan for college in Chicago, and then living in Milwaukee, I didn’t think I would end up living in a handicap-accessible house across the…

7 Ways Life with ALS Is Similar to Life During a Pandemic

When someone asked my husband how he is doing in light of COVID-19, Todd replied, “Our life isn’t that much different. Now everyone else is dealing with what we have been living with for years.” There are similarities between life during this pandemic and life with ALS. 1. We already…

Appreciating My Partner

My 14-year-old daughter woke me up at 4:45 a.m. “Do you hear that?” “Hear what?” I asked groggily. “You don’t hear anything?” Panic rose in Sara’s voice. “No.” I sat up. “You don’t hear that?” she said, just after I too heard a high-pitched chirp. “Yes,” I said. “It sounds…

Living Life While Taking Precautions

After three weeks of my husband, Todd, being cloistered in our home with a cold, we ventured out Saturday for Michigan Tech’s last home hockey game of the season. Our Huskies took on their archrival, the Northern Michigan Wildcats. Games between the two teams usually sell out because…

5 Ways to Help Kids Cope with a Parent’s ALS

One of my biggest concerns is how my husband’s ALS will affect our children. They were both under 5 when Todd was diagnosed and while they are growing up, their father continues to lose strength. A couple of years into the disease, I was fastening Todd’s seat belt as our…

3 Ways ALS Has Changed Me

I’m not the same person I was 10 years ago, before my husband, Todd, was diagnosed with ALS. The brutal reality of the disease has changed me in three ways: 1. I swear more I’d never done much swearing. When I was 15, I had just gotten my driver’s permit…

I Am Savoring Our Limited Time as a Family

A month after my husband, Todd, was diagnosed with ALS, I wrote in my journal: “Squeezing in memories is bittersweet. Last weekend, we took Sara and Isaac to the beach. The sun sparkled off the water and Isaac pointed at the seagulls flying over Lake Michigan. I took pictures…

The Circle of Life from Motherhood to Caregiving

I thought my days of obsessively avoiding germs and examining poop would be over once my babies grew, but such is the circle of life now that my husband has ALS. When I was a brand-new mom, one of my biggest pet peeves was when strangers in a grocery store…