Joyful Sorrow - a Column by Kristin Neva

A couple weeks ago, a friend asked me, “What are you going to do for your birthday?” “We’ll just have a family dinner and play games,” I said. “That’s all I want.” When my husband, Todd, and I were married, we might have gone on a weekend getaway or out…

A family friend visited last week, prompting a trip down memory lane to the days long before my husband, Todd, had ALS. My teenage daughter and her boyfriend sat on the couch behind us, while Todd, our friend Abby, and I sat around the kitchen table sharing memories…

Eighteen years ago when expecting my daughter, I decided to become a stay-at-home mom. Mothering a newborn was a joyful season, but it was also exhausting and isolating. Another new mom in my community who’d experienced that same isolation after leaving the workforce started a family club that offered an…

Since my husband, Todd, is paralyzed from ALS, he can’t help with household chores and maintenance anymore. That puts much of it on me, but that’s also difficult for him because he loved many of those tasks. He enjoyed his career, which included work in marketing, finance, and manufacturing,…

When I took my son to the doctor for his sports physical, the nurse went through a checklist of health history questions. The exchange took an unexpected turn when she asked about my husband’s health. “Is Dad healthy?” “No. He has ALS.” The nurse glanced at her computer screen.

My 13-year-old son and I started mountain biking a few summers ago during the pandemic. He quickly became a much more aggressive biker than me, tackling jumps and getting air while I try to keep my tires on the ground. He easily outpaces me, often waiting at trail…

Ever since my husband Todd’s ALS led to his paralysis, it has been hard for him to get comfortable. This is especially true now that he wears a mask nearly 24/7 for noninvasive ventilation support. For years, I’ve jumped into action when he calls me to swat a…

About 19 years ago, my newlywed husband, Todd, bought me golf clubs. He loved the sport and thought it’d be a fun way to spend time together. I was open to the idea, even though I used to be one of those kids who dreaded gym class. I’ve never been…

As I fed my husband, Todd, his morning breakfast, a charm of yellow finches caught our attention, flitting to and from a mountain ash outside our dining room window. That old tree has brought many moments of joy that are sweet reprieve from the daily challenges of life with…

I don’t like asking for help, but when it’s for my husband, I’ll do it. Last Friday, after getting my kids out the door for school, they quickly returned to the house. “The car has a flat tire,” my daughter announced. “I’ll drive you,” I responded.