An emotional dance performance mirrored my life with ALS

Last weekend, I left my husband, Todd, with a caregiver while I attended our daughter’s dance performance at Northern Michigan University. “Love Is A Burning Thing: A Johnny Cash Ballet” was the CO/LAB Dance Company’s tribute to Johnny Cash, featuring a number of his songs.

The energy in the auditorium was palpable as the students took the stage for their fourth and final show. It was well attended, with many friends and family members having driven great distances to witness the work of art that these students had poured themselves into for months.

My daughter danced in a quartet, telling the story of two couples. It was exciting to see the piece she had helped choreograph come to life — and fun to see her in a dramatic lift.

I clapped along with the audience to a high-energy number, “I’ve Been Everywhere.” I laughed when the truck driver in the song comically bounced in the cab of his truck as it was pushed across the stage. I reveled in the beauty of other dances and in seeing my daughter in her element.

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The performance also included dances exploring grief, addiction, and hardship. Three young men who had each danced to songs exploring these themes in separate pieces came together for a number set to Johnny Cash’s cover of “Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails.

Cash’s voice — worn, weathered, and heavy with lived experience — filled the auditorium. Cash had covered “Hurt” late in his life, perhaps singing from a place of grief that the ride was nearing its end. The song carries the ache of someone who has lived through great sorrow.

As the dancers captured the mournful sorrow of the song with the movement of their bodies and facial expressions, I watched intently as I listened to the lyrics: “What have I become, my sweetest friend?/ Everyone I know goes away in the end.” As those words landed, tears filled my eyes.

I wasn’t grieving only the story in the song or the rich emotion of the dance. The lyrics evoked the deep, familiar grief I carry after living for so many years alongside my husband, whose ALS has caused his relentless physical decline.

Later, my daughter told me that much of the company was crying backstage while watching that number. They felt the weight and beauty of what their fellow artists were offering in that last performance of the song.

The show ended on a high note with upbeat music and movement. Smiles beamed across the dancers’ faces during the curtain call, and the audience rose to applaud.

Standing there clapping, I was struck by the depth of the performance. Art that encompasses the full range of the human experience is my favorite kind, because my life, too, contains intense grief alongside joy, laughter, and beauty.

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