Joyful Sorrow - a Column by Kristin Neva

“Does caregiving for ALS ever get easier?” I pondered the question someone had posted on social media. I couldn’t sleep for days after my husband, Todd, was diagnosed. I was consumed with anxiety and fear for the future. How was I going to parent our children as a single mom?…

When our kids started school this fall, I had a sense of relief that my husband, Todd, made it to see our youngest begin middle school. He’s now at the same school campus as our 15-year-old daughter. I’m glad we’re dealing with a school transition while Todd is still with…

I inspected the fish through the curved glass of a refrigerated display case. Wild-caught Lake Superior whitefish and trout — both raw and smoked — lay in metal trays. “I’d like that piece of smoked trout in the middle. Underneath the top one,” I specified. I picked a plump…

I watched a tribute video to a husband and father who recently died from ALS. Tears filled my eyes over tender moments of a toddler kissing and hugging his dad, jumping on his lap, and driving matchbox cars on his head while the dad smiled. The man radiated love for…

“We were ill-prepared and unequipped for the hike,” I told my husband, Todd, after returning home. The kids and I went to see Douglass Houghton Falls in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula with my friend, who was visiting from out of town. Todd stayed home because he has ALS and is…

My husband, Todd, and I marked 18 years of marriage on Tuesday. The memory of our seventh anniversary is seared into my mind. He bought me flowers from a Mayo Clinic gift shop. We were in Rochester, Minnesota, getting a second opinion on his ALS diagnosis. After a battery of…

I pleaded. I bargained. I threatened. But it was no use. My dog would not back away from the woods behind the shed, where he had been sprayed by a skunk just two weeks earlier. I was more panicked when he got skunked than I was now. I frantically searched…

Help has come and gone over the past decade since my husband, Todd, has had ALS. When it became too difficult to travel four hours away to an ALS clinic, Todd went to a local neurologist who managed his care. After a couple years, his neurologist left the area, and…

Driving in our small town is usually pretty chill. People let each other in and don’t cut one another off. But right now, the roads are busier than normal. It’s construction season, and we have many out-of-town tourists. People come from big cities, where they live with more stress and…

When my husband, Todd, was diagnosed with ALS, I grieved the loss of our dreams and our future together, but I had no idea how hard daily life would become. ALS caregiving spouses end up taking on a lot of roles. We advocate for resources and battle insurance companies.