Joyful Sorrow - a Column by Kristin Neva

My son pointed to a plastic army man on the ottoman. “That guy is a sniper,” he said. “He’s taking everyone out.” He placed a soldier on top of others on the living room floor. “This army is using dead bodies to build a wall. In war, you have to…

The grief that accompanies ALS is multifaceted. I grieve my husband’s loss of function and the loss of our dreams. Just when we find a new normal, there is further decline. I let my grief out on the pages of my journal. I cry, I scream in the car when…

Like many families, we played games over the holidays. Because my husband, Todd, is completely paralyzed due to ALS, we chose games in which he could participate. Apples to Apples worked well for him. I set his cards in the game’s box top, and he told me which card to…

My Facebook friends post accomplishments like completing a 5K run. If I were to post my accomplishments, I would include taking my husband, Todd, to my daughter’s school concert. Going on a simple family outing with ALS can be challenging. With about 200 inches of snow falling annually, traveling is…

I tell potential customers that my Christmas wreaths will last until Easter. That usually gets a chuckle and often a sale. At a holiday craft fair, a gray-haired man topped my claim: “I bought one from you last year, and I just threw it out last week.” Longevity is an…

If my husband, Todd, did not have ALS, there would still be someone else with ALS. And there’s cancer. Childhood illness. Tragic accidents. But winter has arrived on the Keweenaw Peninsula, and I’m compelled to get out and delight in God’s creation. Would He have made nature so beautiful…

As I approached the one-year anniversary of my husband, Todd’s, ALS diagnosis, I wrote in my journal: “I want to be happy, healed, and whole again. But the grief that I am experiencing is not something one can easily get over.” I read books such as “Getting…

After my husband Todd’s ALS diagnosis, he said, “We need to sell the house and move near your parents.” He anticipated that their day-to-day support in rural northern Michigan would be more important than being near an ALS clinic in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. We appreciated the convenience of seeing Todd’s…

I went parasailing during a vacation in Florida 10 years ago. I talked my brother into going with me, because my husband, Todd, wasn’t feeling up to it at the time. He had a weak left arm, but we didn’t know then that he had ALS.

Sometimes I’ll pick up a magazine in a grocery store checkout line and see a marriage article about sex or the division of household chores. I’ll sigh wistfully. Healthy people problems. In “Flying Without Wings,” Arnold Beisser describes his journey to become a psychiatrist, which was nearly impossible after…