Joyful Sorrow - a Column by Kristin Neva

Thinking of gift ideas for my husband, Todd, has always been a challenge — especially since he’s been paralyzed by ALS. Some of my gifts to him haven’t gotten much use, like a heated jacket that he found too hot. He used it a couple times when we went…

If we’d anticipated my husband, Todd, needing nighttime caregivers, we would’ve designed our accessible house differently, but we probably wouldn’t have been as happy with it. After Todd was diagnosed with ALS in 2010, he told me, “We need to sell the house. We need to move near…

More than a dozen years ago, my friend Jana helped me process my grief after my husband, Todd, was diagnosed with ALS. She and I walked around our neighborhood, pushing our babies in strollers as our toddlers rode their bikes. Jana listened and didn’t offer platitudes. We now…

In the Jan. 23 episode of “The Happiness Lab” podcast, Simone Stolzoff, author of the book “The Good Enough Job: Reclaiming Life from Work,” argues that we should stop hunting for the perfect job. Stolzoff and podcast host Laurie Santos, a psychology professor, discuss how society’s view of work…

Now that my husband, Todd, is paralyzed and uses a noninvasive ventilator, leaving the house is too hard on him. So when we have a date night, we watch a movie at home. Last weekend, we watched “Good Night Oppy,” a documentary about twin rovers that NASA…

My husband, Todd, is increasingly dependent on a noninvasive ventilator as ALS continues to weaken his lungs. Over the past decade as the disease progressed, I’ve had periods of high stress before we adapted to a new normal, such as when Todd continued to drive even though he…

I followed the directions on my phone to the Lily Creek Nature Sanctuary in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. The 40-acre forest preserve with maple, paper birch, and balsam fir is only five minutes from my home, but I’d never been there. I’d seen an advertisement for a hike and…

On Saturday afternoon, I was feeling apprehensive that 2023 would be an even harder year for my husband, Todd, and me than previous ones. Todd’s breathing continues to weaken due to ALS. The beginning of the year is often a time when people take stock of their lives;…

Dependency is a difficult reality of ALS. My husband, Todd, fought to preserve his independence as long as possible, but he lost each battle to progressive disability. When his legs became noticeably weak, he got a walking stick, and then a scooter, followed by a power wheelchair. He lost…

I feel compelled to seek out beauty and create a warm home, perhaps partly as an antidote to the difficulties we experience because my husband, Todd, has ALS. In a way, choosing to celebrate feels like a revolt against this devastating disease. A little over a week ago, I…