Searching for wisdom in the woods as we navigate ALS
Living with ALS involves being stripped of a lot of things — like a birch tree
A few weeks ago, I visited the Paavola Wetlands Nature Area a few minutes from my home. A local group that meets monthly for prayer and reflection was at the preserve, and since they were in the neighborhood, I decided to stop by. I’d be able to get back quickly if my husband, Todd, who has ALS, needed my help.
The leader of the group had printed out various reflections and asked for volunteers to read some of them. I raised my hand, and she gave me a printout of an excerpt from a meditation from the Center for Action and Contemplation titled “Give Me a Word.” It described how the Desert Fathers had a tradition of asking for a word, some wisdom to ponder. The word might be from Scripture, a line of poetry, a dream symbol, or an image that seizes one’s imagination.
After the readings, the leader suggested that we spread out and ask for a word as we spent time in nature.
Down a short trail, I was drawn to a tall paper birch. I made my way through alder brush and between patches of snow to examine the tree. Much of the delicate paper was peeling, exposing a new layer of tender bark.
A glorious paper birch at the Paavola Wetlands Nature Area in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. (Photo by Kristin Neva)
I thought about how beautiful layers are stripped away.
Living with ALS involves being stripped of a lot of things for both the person with the disease and family caregivers. I considered the many dreams Todd and I had to abandon. The disease’s cruel progression has stripped Todd of his ability to work, the use of his hands, his mobility, and even the ability to breathe on his own.
I’ve experienced much stripping as well as my world turned upside down and as I try to manage each new stage of the disease as his caregiver. I’ve wrestled with faith and meaning as I’ve lost long-held beliefs about how the world works.
I thought about how the birch grows new layers of bark to replace those that are stripped away. Just as too much stripping can harm or kill a birch tree, the extreme stripping of ALS can take out individuals and families dealing with the disease.
But for now anyway, I keep going. Todd keeps going. As the outer bark of our lives continues to be peeled away, I hope that new layers are forming — and that some beauty will emerge.
Note: ALS News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of ALS News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to ALS.
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