Joyful Sorrow - a Column by Kristin Neva

Author and counselor Douglas C. Smith wrote in Health and Happiness U.P. Magazine about five types of grief people are experiencing through the pandemic. As I read through the article, I realized I have experienced all of them — anticipatory, general, disenfranchised, ambiguous, and vicarious grief — with my…

My husband, Todd, gets twice-weekly physical therapy, which significantly improves his quality of life with ALS. Six years ago, Todd was having pain in his shoulders, and his elbows would not fully straighten, making it difficult for him to use his wheelchair. His doctor ordered physical and occupational therapy evaluations…

I got away for a couple of nights during spring break with my 12-year-old son, Isaac, and 16-year-old daughter, Sara. It was good to have a mini-vacation, although I was sad my husband, Todd, couldn’t join us because his ALS progression makes travel too difficult. Three years ago, we all…

An old friend stopped by with a gift of homegrown microgreens. She’s a retired nurse, and she used to help with nighttime care for my husband, Todd, who has ALS. She visited for a while, and we updated her on Todd’s health and decline in lung strength. I…

Last Sunday, the temperature was in the high 40s, making the tracks in the cross-country ski trail smooth and fast. A gurgling brook carried away snowmelt from a long winter. Birds sang. Two chipmunks scampered up a tree, one chasing the other. Spring skiing is one of my favorite…

I felt twinges of grief as I shopped for a card for a young couple’s wedding. First card: “Wishes on this special day for happiness, joy, and love, along with a future that will bring everything you are dreaming of.” Sigh. I wish my husband and I had a future.

Figuring out how to manage each stage of ALS for my husband, Todd, is a challenge. Each time Todd experiences another loss, I scramble to find answers and resources. Our latest challenge was trying to get proper support for Todd’s Astral noninvasive ventilator. It doesn’t help that we…

ALS has compromised the breathing of my husband, Todd, to the point where his positioning — unless he is using the Astral noninvasive ventilator — can mean the difference between being able to breathe or not. We only realized how bad it was a couple of weeks ago when we…

I set my husband, Todd, up on his computer with his HeadMouse and sip-and-puff clicker. ALS has compromised his breathing, so I put on his noninvasive ventilator. I call my mom, who lives next door. She will keep her mobile phone in her pocket. If Todd needs anything, he…

Our daughter, Sara, is working on several pieces for an upcoming choir festival. One selection is the song “My New Philosophy” from the musical “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown.” The other evening, as our family gathered for dinner, Sara sang the lyrics in which the character Sally tries…