I cried as I listened to an episode of the “Everything Happens” podcast. Writer Samantha Irby described growing up with sick parents. When she was 9, her mom was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and her dad struggled with heart problems for years. They both died when she was…
Joyful Sorrow - a Column by Kristin Neva
I’ve written before about how the world has been shrinking for my husband, Todd, and me. Some activities, such as going on vacation or visiting people in their homes, became too difficult, even before social distancing mandates, due to Todd’s worsening ALS symptoms. But we still made an effort…
My office offers retreat, in that it only has wall décor we acquired before ALS upended our lives. Over my book case is a framed painting of Maine’s Bar Harbor that my husband, Todd, and I bought on our honeymoon. We purchased the piece from a local artist who then…
Last week, we had an early snowfall, even for Michigan’s Keweenaw Peninsula. Snow frosted the tips of trees and blanketed the grass, leaving small bits of green peeking through. I posted a picture on social media and wrote, “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Gearing up for…
We Are Both Patients
I asked my husband, Todd, why he thought our relationship worked as well as it does. I was preparing to write a column about how we still love each other through the stress of living with his ALS for a decade now. It would be understandable for him to…
Our Bittersweet Family Life
We had an unseasonably warm fall day while Todd’s sister was visiting from out of state last week. I asked Todd if he’d want to head down to McLain State Park just 15 minutes from our home. “I suppose,” he said somewhat reluctantly. He wanted to be social even…
We had snow in the air last week, reminding me that Christmas is coming, and with it, one of my favorite creative projects: wreath-making. I’ll start clipping the Fraser fir boughs and assembling the wreaths in November, but in the meantime, I’ve been gathering pine cones. I’ve been wiring…
Finding Strength to Keep Going
On most days, I walk three laps around the fields on my mom’s property next to my home. My stress diminishes as I drink in the natural beauty while exercising. I stop and smell apple blossoms in the spring. I pause to snack on early summer sugar snap peas…
Finding My People
I cried again as I read yet another social media post by a caregiving spouse whose husband just died from ALS. ALS kills someone every 90 minutes, and I’ve made online connections with many caregivers, which means I frequently read of somebody’s loss. I cry hardest when another mom…
The Burden of Knowing the Future
Lulu Wang’s film “The Farewell” is based on an actual lie. The 2019 comedic drama looks at a family’s decision to keep their matriarch ignorant of her stage IV lung cancer diagnosis with a prognosis of death in three months. Billi, a Chinese American woman, travels to China for…
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