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    • #11638
      Dagmar Munn

      Quality careGIVING and care-ACCEPTING depend on effective communication between parties. It’s a delicate balancing act, especially when the caregiver is a spouse or family member.

      With traditional roles reversed, misunderstandings can happen and feelings easily get bruised. Giving care and accepting it is challenging enough without adding emotions into the mix. Here is a simple communication technique that’s worked for me, especially now that I live with ALS:

      How to Coach the Coach: Make It a Sandwich

      Have you had to make adjustments in how you ask for help or give directions? Please share your tips with us in the reply box below.

    • #11685
      Diana Belland

      This is a great topic.  My husband has had to take over most of the household cleaning and gardening tasks that I have always done.  Our budget allows us to hire a cleaning service only once a month, and with an onslaught of medical bills, he doesn’t want to hire a landscaping company for the garden areas either.    It’s been hard for me to accept the fact that I can’t keep the house as clean as I once did and that I have to live with weeds taking over my previously meticulously cared for garden beds until he has time to do it.  You are so right when you say that “with traditional roles reversed…feelings can get easily bruised.”

      My husband has had to learn to become comfortable with cleaning tasks and I am having to learn that he will do it, just not always on my time table.   I’m still working on “how to ask for help and how to give directions,” so I’m afraid I don’t have any tips to share other than to try to stay calm and patient when talking with your spouse.   I think your “Make It a Sandwich” tip is great, and I will use it!

      On a happy note, my husband, of his own accord, started a couple of weeks ago making the coffee in the morning and now brings me my first morning cup just after I wake up.  I can stay in bed to do my morning stretches and have my coffee, too!

      Thanks for bringing up such an important topic.   I hope others will add helpful comments on what works for them.


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