Planting seeds of hope in life with ALS

It feels good to look forward to blooming flowers in the summertime

Written by Kristin Neva |

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A couple months ago, I planted zinnia and strawflower seeds in two plastic bins and set them in the sunlight under our patio window in my dining room. I’ve grown vegetables from seeds in the past, but never flowers.

Vegetables feel practical because food is necessary to sustain life, while growing flowers feels like a luxury. But I’m realizing that beauty is also an essential part of life. When ALS steals so many simple pleasures, we need to fight to find beauty where we can.

Last summer, I purchased a few zinnia plants for $5 a piece from a local gardener on Facebook. I was wowed by the picture he had posted of his garden in bloom from the prior summer. The three plants I purchased bloomed and were beautiful, but they didn’t come close to matching the abundance of his photo. This year, I wanted more plants but didn’t want to spend a lot of money, so I decided to grow them from seed.

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As I watered the bins each morning, I looked for signs of life. Within a few days, tiny green shoots pushed through the soil. It was easier than I had imagined.

A few weeks ago, after the danger of frost had passed, I transplanted the seedlings into my patio pots and garden boxes. The zinnias adjusted easily, stretching toward the sun as if nothing had changed. The strawflowers were more hesitant and a little droopy at first. But now, weeks later, both have taken root.

I’m looking forward to what comes next: buds and eventually flowers. Lots of them! It’s good to have something to look forward to in a life with ALS.

ALS is an especially difficult disease because it never stops progressing. Over the years, my husband, Todd, and I have often said, especially in the early days, “If only it would stop progressing, we could cope with disability.” If it were just a weak arm, or just a wheelchair, life would feel manageable. We could adjust. But Todd’s progression doesn’t stop.

Instead, each season brings new losses, making my relationship with the future an uneasy one. I don’t look forward to further progression. I don’t look forward to the day when my caregiving days are over because my husband is gone. The future, more often than not, feels like something to dread.

And yet, these plants have given me something little to look forward to. I often feel like hope is hard to come by in life with ALS, so it feels good to look forward to beautiful zinnias and strawflowers blooming.


Note: ALS News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of ALS News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to ALS.

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